New Years Goals versus New Years Resolutions

I am sitting in the dark with my four year old writing this post.

She came to me crying because she has developed a sudden fear of the dark. So we talk about what's in the dark, and how it's normal to feel afraid of what you can't see. Someday, fear of the dark may serve her safety. We talk about how sometimes mommy is scared, too.

But we also talk for a while about things that are beautiful. She is fascinated by spiders right now, and we talk about all the times we've found good spiders in the house, releasing them outside to build their webs. She tells me what they looked like just in case I forgot. 

I'm never sure if I'm doing the right thing when I parent. 

One of the things I do just before New Years now is separate my goals from my resolutions. Resolutions are little things I'd like to change: wear a pretty dress once a week is my current one.

Goals are dreams. They are visions for the future that I'm trying to bring into the current moment.  One of them is this blog. Another is to visit Iceland and complete the Icelandic crash course with the University of Iceland.

Goals remind me that I am a person who can accomplish amazing things. They remind me that in spite of all the crap, life can be fulfilling.

This is important for my children because I want them to understand that the world is open to them, and so I must live that truth for myself.  They are mirrors of my own behavior and I want that mirror to be limitless.

Three things to keep in mind when making your goals for this year:

1. Joy

   Really, joy is pretty much the reason we live. When you find your joy, you can find a lot of meaning in this weird existence we have. So write things down, brainstorm, create a vision board, whatever you need to do to get started, and you'll find yourself dreaming bigger than you ever have.

2. Focus

   Sometimes after we do the work of discovering our joy, we are overwhelmed by what we find. I like to cluster goals together so that as I'm working on one goal, it's helping me move towards another. 

3. Grace

    We catch a lot of flack for not living in the moment or seizing every minute of the day, but let's be honest here. It's really hard to live authentically every second. So if you don't accomplish all your goals this year, or even any of them at all, give yourself space to be thankful for what you do have and your ability to move on.

So what are your goals this year?

Hello 2016

2015 was not my year. Man, was it ever not. Family upheaval, bad news, discontent, and a whole lot of binge watching television. 

Life was meant to be more than I could have ever dreamed.

Something went sideways some years back. I'm not sure I could pinpoint exactly when, but I've let myself go.

My children stare at their iPads at the ages of 2 and 4 and barely look up some days, and I gotta tell you, that hurts. 

But there are days when we get out, when we re-wild, when we find ourselves out among the trees and grass, when we get caught up in a game of catch the fish, when we teach the dogs something new, when we draw and dance and I remember what it feels like to be content. 

To be joy filled. 

2016 is my year. I've shed a lot of expectations I'd placed on myself, that had been placed on my by others and I'm remembering what I was like before I added these layers of crap.

This is my year.

Let it be so.